“I Was Empty and Tried to Fill That Void With Lots of Different Things”

Read Kimberly's Life Transformation Story

My suffering started when I was about five years old, and my father had been cheating on my mother. She had been a really good wife; even my father admitted that. But he cheated on her, she confronted him over it, and his response was to abandon our family.

My mom is a homemaker and was not working, and she found out that he hadn’t paid the bills in two months. So all the bills for two months were overdue. She had no job. She had two little girls, and my dad abandoned her. He just walked out and never came back.

She married somebody way too fast. I think because she was desperate. She was in a terrible situation. She didn’t know who to turn to. And that person ended up being a nightmare for all of us. So, my stepfather was just extremely abusive and angry, and he would get stressed out. His way of dealing with being stressed out was to explode and be super angry.

I started smoking. I started drinking heavily in high school. I mean, heavily, totally out-of-control drinking. I was full of anger, angry at my stepfather for being like that. And I was angry at my mom for not protecting us from him, from not doing something about it. So I was angry at both of them.

So, you know, you’re full of rage, and that’s never a good thing. So it finally got so bad that I was talking about killing him when I was in high school. I’d gotten to that point.

Due to all this rage inside me, I started using drugs. Before I left home even, I’d started using drugs. I was riding motorcycles up and down the East Coast. I got introduced to guns. It just went from bad to worse. I honestly was just in that whole gang-banger crowd.

I knew I was empty, you know, I tried to fill that with lots of different things. I would use drugs because I was stressed. There’s a certain edge where you might drink a couple of drinks, but there’s this edge, and once you cross over it, you’re drunk and out of control. I didn’t know where the edge was. I kept pushing the edge of it all the time.

Periodically, I would try going to church, and then I’d end up leaving the church. Either I saw the pastor do something wrong, or somebody else inside the church, who was supposed to be saved, did something wrong. And so, I was in and out of churches.

I was trying to get better, but it just was not working. I got into a relationship with someone who was married but separated from his wife. Then that person started having really serious problems and ended up in the hospital. His brothers invited me to The Universal Church to attend the Chain of Prayer on Fridays to pray for him to get better.

And so I went to The Universal Church, not for myself. I thought I was fine, but I came to try to help my friend. So, I came to the church and started going regularly to the Friday services. And then he got out of the hospital and started coming with me.

I remember every Friday, I would feel cleaner. Every Friday, I would feel like my soul was cleansed, that God was removing all these stains that I had. I stopped using drugs. I stopped drinking and hanging out with bad friends. I stopped all that stuff.

I used to have terrible migraine headaches; they disappeared. I used to have asthma; it disappeared. I used to have all kinds of allergies to things, really severe allergies, which also totally disappeared.

So, I finally got to the point where I realized I had to make a decision. I had to give up this person even though I cared about him then. I had to do it for my own spiritual sake. I had to trust God and make a decision to do what was right. And I knew that because he was married, it was wrong. It was just wrong. I had to change. I had to stop.

Once I made that decision, I became a servant of God. Later, he became a servant of God. His wife became a servant of God. His son became a servant of God. Later on, I met and married a person who is also a servant of God.

So all of us became servants of the living, true God because I made the right decision that allowed that door to open. If I didn’t let go of all these wrong things, I would never have a good relationship with God. And to receive the Holy Spirit, you must have a pure relationship with God.

My husband and I didn’t have a normal wedding. When we went to get married, we wanted a service where people could be saved. So we had the pastor preach a service and have a period to seek the Holy Spirit.

While I was seeking the Holy Spirit during my wedding ceremony, I received the Holy Spirit. So it’s amazing. It was like I got married to my husband, and I got married to Jesus on the exact same evening. It was the best thing ever.

So I was so happy. I still remember it now. I felt like I was bathed in the Spirit. It was the most amazing thing. And it really, truly made me happy. I’m still happy thinking about it right now.

I know God is with me. He is with me and protects me every day. He loves me every day. And I have that peace inside me no matter what happens. My spiritual life is wonderful.

My love life is great. Also, my financial life is good. I have my own business, which God started. Truly, God started my business, and God started my husband’s business too. We now both have our businesses.

Sometimes, we go through problems, and things are really hard and crazy, and we think the world is falling apart. I also thought my world was falling apart, and I could have chosen to give up.

But if you’re out there and in this situation where your world is falling apart, don’t give up because things are hard. Instead, keep going, keep going, because what’s at the end is beautiful.

—Kimberly