“I Started Getting Spiritual Attacks at Age Five”

I didn’t know my father. So I grew up basically as an orphan. My maternal grandmother raised me and my older brother and sister, but she was very abusive.

I was very depressed. I didn’t know what depression was. I didn’t have anyone to speak to about it. I remember that after my mother’s death, I started getting spiritual attacks at age five. Of course, back then, I didn’t know what it was. I remember I started having nightmares.

I married young to escape the abuse, to be able to have a little freedom, to get out of the house. Because the older I got, the more abusive my grandmother became. When I got married, the curse of abuse still followed.

There was a curse in my family of domestic violence, which I found out later. I was beaten by my husband, and I left.

I started getting more spiritual attacks and nightmares. And I really didn’t have anyone to talk to about it until I met people who were into witchcraft. I wasn’t just dabbling in witchcraft. I became really focused and studied.

I was mainly into the dark side. Some of the things I learned, some witches wouldn’t even touch. You begin to play “ping-pong” with other witches. You’re both sending spells back and forth, so it doesn’t really solve anything. You can’t defeat evil with evil, but you don’t know this. You feel like this is the only answer. I thought it was the answer.

I remember after going through all the witchcraft and things not working, I saw The Universal Church on TV one Saturday morning. I wrote down the address, and I remember going the next Saturday.

I just felt a peace. I just felt, “This is where I belong.” It was just something so different because I was able to walk up to this pastor and say, “Okay, I have spiritual attacks.” There was no “Oh, there’s no such thing as that.” Right away, he knew the problem. So I knew this was where I wanted and needed to be.

I didn’t know anything about spiritual deliverance. I know that it changed so much in my life. So much was lifted out of my life. The spiritual attacks stopped. I didn’t even realize when they stopped. I didn’t realize I slept better.

By participating in the Chain of Prayer meetings, I learned about the Holy Spirit, that He is the comforter that the Lord Jesus promised us.

This is the Lord Jesus’ way of saying, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” And I learned that the Holy Spirit is not us rolling around on the ground and screaming, but instead a very assuring, peaceful Presence, and I wanted this peace. I had gained peace, but I wanted this particular Presence.

The Universal Church had the 21-Day Fast of Daniel, where you fast from all secular media, TV, and secular music. You focus on the Bible, on a relationship with God, and on seeking the Holy Spirit.

I would pray at 3 in the morning. I wanted the Holy Spirit so, so badly. I wanted this power. I wanted this peace. And most of all, I learned that you cannot maintain salvation without the Holy Spirit.

So I didn’t want to be left out of that at all. I was so anxious, and one of the pastors said, “Don’t be anxious. When you least expect it, He’ll come.”

I’ll never forget. It was on a Wednesday in May. This was a few years later, and I was standing before the Altar. And I was so used to “Okay, maybe not yet.” Then I just received this peace and this assurance; it’s indescribable. I can’t even explain that day, but I know that the Holy Spirit was there. And from that point on, my feet were planted at the Altar.

After receiving the Holy Spirit, everything I do is part of saving souls. If I volunteer to clean the church, it is to save souls, so the church will be clean to receive those seeking help. When someone comes to me and says, “I have a problem with this, or I have a spiritual attack.” I can sit down with that person and say, “I went through this and that; I’m doing this and that. Let me tell you my story, my testimony.”

The Holy Spirit is there to guide everyone. He’s there to help you. We just have to learn not only to hear, but to listen as well.

—Deborah