“I Couldn’t Take the Pain and Sadness Anymore”

Read Madeline's Inspiring Story

My name is Madeline. When I was younger, my dad left my mom. They separated. They got divorced. My mom had remarried, so my stepfather was very violent towards my mom, my brother, and me. He would come home drunk and very abusive. So, I would see my mom get abused by my stepfather.

So I grew up seeing that. I grew up seeing domestic violence. I grew up very angry, very sad, very depressed. My way of feeling happy was going out with my friends, doing drugs, drinking. I had friends at college who were involved with drugs, and there was a time when they introduced me to marijuana.

I wasn’t interested at first, but I did it. I fell into it, and I didn’t stop after that. It was so many times that I smoked weed that there was no effect on me anymore. So, I wanted something stronger. And then my friends at the time said, okay, well, try ecstasy, try cocaine, try shrooms, try crack, try all of these different drugs.

And I did. And each one, I would get so addicted to it that it had no effect on me until I got something stronger. And it was a moment where I couldn’t anymore, and I mixed everything. And I had an overdose. And when I had my overdose, it was a breaking point for me. One day, I wrote a letter to my family saying goodbye.

I had written the letter because that day, I wanted to commit suicide. Honestly, I couldn’t take the pain and sadness anymore. I couldn’t stop hearing voices. But something stopped me. Something stopped me.

I was walking home after work that day, and a lady from The Universal Church was evangelizing on the corner. And then I remembered that she said, “Come, come to the service, and you’re going to see.” And I remember after talking to her, I went home and felt different. I felt she transmitted this love, this care I’ve never felt or seen before.

And I went, and I remember that I just sat there. No one said anything bad to me. They all greeted me. I remember I opened the door, and everyone was smiling at me and pleased that I was there. I had a lot of doubts and a lot of questions.

I started doing a Chain of Prayer on Fridays and was delivered; God set me free from all addiction and spiritual oppression. I started joining the Youth Power Group, and I liked it. It was a new home for me. I felt loved. I felt like I was wanted. When seeking the Holy Spirit, I told God, “Well, You gave me a second chance of life. Now I need You. I need Your Spirit.”

So one day, I got very revolted. And I went to the bathroom, locked myself in there, and prayed, “My God, I’m here. What is missing? What do I need to do for me to receive the Holy Spirit?” I humbled myself before God.

And I remember that moment I felt peace—It was a peace that came over me, and everything was okay from then. I got up from the prayer and said, “Okay, today is a new beginning.” When I received the Holy Spirit, I just felt a new beginning.

I wanted to tell everybody, and I wanted to tell all my previous friends that they could stop doing what they were doing and the same way that I was saved, they can be saved as well. My relationship with my mom now is different. I speak to her almost every day to see how she’s doing now.

Now, I work with my husband, taking care of the youth. It’s so peaceful and rewarding that I can go to bed, put my head on the pillow, and say, “Thank You, God, for being used to help these youths, knowing that they’re coming here broken and leaving here a new person.”

—Madeline