“I Would Draw Black and Blue Bruises on My Face to Get Attention”

Read Melanie's Impactful Story

I never really got any attention from my mom. She never did anything with us. There was no advice. There was no guidance. She never gave us any direction on what we should or shouldn’t do. And when we did something wrong, she would say she was disappointed, and that was it. Growing up, that lack of attention, that lack of love and care, kind of made me desperate for attention.

So, I started doing things to get attention, and I liked it. I liked the adrenaline that it gave me. I started to cut myself. I cut my arms. I would give myself a black eye. I would write myself death letters and put them in my locker and pretend that somebody else was giving me those letters.

I started my grandpa’s house on fire and wanted to see that the firefighters would come. I would set my parents’ storage buildings on fire. And I did that about four times.

I took that same thing for attention into my marriage. There was one time that we did get in a physical fight, and my husband gave me a black eye. I had a concussion, and I went to work the next day like that.

I liked the attention it got me, so I continued with that. Even though my husband didn’t hurt me, I continued to make people think that he was. So I would cut my neck. I would cut my forehead. I would draw black and blue bruises on my face and on my arms to make them think he was beating me.

I didn’t want to come home from work because there were always fights in my house every single night. There was so much stress with my youngest son being sick. My marriage wasn’t good.

My oldest son started giving us trouble. He started talking back. He started arguing with us. We got into a lot of physical fights. There were times that he would grab me by my neck and shove me up against the wall.

There was a time when he jumped on top of my car so that I couldn’t leave, and I was also angry. So I would step on the gas and then step on the brakes so that he would go flying off of the car. I said a lot of mean things to him. I told him I hated him and that I didn’t care what happened to him.

We started coming to The Universal Church, especially on Fridays. We did the Chain of Prayer for deliverance. I remember I would often come in desperation, crying, just in so much frustration. God delivered me; He healed me, and I decided to surrender my life to Him.

I repented from all my actions and asked forgiveness from those that I hurt and lied to. I wanted the Holy Spirit. The pastor’s wife talked to me all the time about the Holy Spirit being the one who would give me strength.

I sought the Holy Spirit with all my heart, mind, and soul and received Him. I have a strength in me I never had before. I have peace and am happy. My reactions within my marriage are now different. My relationship with my husband and my children is restored, and it is beautiful. I became somebody calm.

There’s a solution for you regardless of what you’re going through.

—Melanie