“I Needed to Show God My Faith”

Joy Kitanga's Journey of Faith

I was watching the TV one day, and I was shocked to hear of a mother who committed suicide because of postpartum depression. I was so broken, and I couldn’t understand it since I was a mother myself, and I had just given birth and had so much joy inside. I thought I could never do something like that, and little did I know I was heading on the same path.

I woke up one morning and asked my husband what day it was; I didn’t realize that I had been sleeping the whole day and only woke up the next day at midday. That was the beginning of my life going downhill, the beginning of my postpartum depression. I woke up, took a bath, and went back to sleep. I could not take care of my kids anymore; my husband had to do everything for them, and I couldn’t help it.

I used to visit a church close to my home, and when I saw that my life was going down day by day and that I didn’t know what to believe in anymore, I told myself that I needed to seek help. I, therefore, went to the church to speak to the pastor but was told that the pastor only talked to the church members and that since I was not a member, they could not help me. I felt helpless and didn’t know what to do since that was my only hope. I cried; I knew I needed to speak to someone, but it felt like suicide was the only option at that moment.

My brother-in-law called his aunt to come and help me, and when she came, she took me to The Universal Church, where she was a member. When I got there, the experience was different; the pastor welcomed me just as anyone else. I didn’t have to introduce myself; they were ready to help me. I saw testimonies of people who received miracles at the church, which motivated me to continue. I would be in church every day, and the more I went, the better I felt. I told myself that I also had to give my testimony just as I saw the people sharing their testimony, knowing that many mothers out there were suffering from postpartum depression as I did. I wanted to show them a different story, not a sad one, as I did before. God set me free from the depression, I was no longer sad or suicidal, and I started to live, and I could take care of my family as I did before.

As I continued attending church, I was able to participate in the Journey of Faith to the Holy Land. I decided to join because my husband and I had been looking to buy a house, but each time we saved, the savings would be used for something else. I asked God what He wanted from me, and He revealed to me that I needed to show him my faith. Therefore, I decided to show my faith through my sacrifice by giving Him something precious to me; after my husband and I presented it on the altar, God made a way for us to get the house of our dreams; we didn’t even have to pay for a deposit.

Much more than everything that God has given me, the peace of the Holy Spirit inside me is the best of all. I have been healed and delivered, I have a blessed family, and most of all, I have salvation of the soul. It’s my greatest pleasure to share my testimony with those suffering just as I was so that they know there is hope for them.

—Joy Kitanga