Article | - 6:55 pm
There Is a Third Option
Many people are living or have lived in an unhealthy relationship in which the partner behaves in a way that makes the relationship unsustainable. We constantly see examples of this type of relationship exposed in the media, especially among famous couples.
According to marriage counselors and authors Renato and Cristiane Cardoso, an unhealthy relationship is one in which one or both people have behaviors that prevent the relationship from being conducted healthily—For example, addiction to pornography, alcohol, drugs, internet addiction, and many other dependencies and personal problems that end up affecting the other person and consequently the relationship.
Renato Cardoso highlights that many single people will, unfortunately, end up in a relationship like this due to their existing unhealthy behaviors.
“Unhealthy relationships usually start with one person who was already sick before entering the relationship. And the other person didn‘t realize it or realized it and thought it was a small problem that they could overcome after getting married,” he points out.
In this case, what happens, most of the time, is that the other person also becomes emotionally ill because they don‘t know how to deal with the situation.
“Many people have health problems that stem from an emotional problem that has not been treated. When the problem is physical, the person goes to the doctor, gets treatment, and takes medication. But what treatment do you do to deal with the emotional problem? People don‘t know. So they go on living trying to forget, and that‘s when they often fall into addictions,” Cristiane Cardoso highlights.
Renato explains that when a person is aware that what they are doing is wrong and that their behavior is destroying their life and their relationship but still cannot stop, it is because the emotional problem is of spiritual origin.
“If what you feel speaks louder than what you know, this is one of the main characteristics of an emotional-spiritual problem. So, you need help to overcome this force that ends up being greater than you and makes you do what harms your relationship,” advises Renato.
But what should you do when you discover your partner’s unhealthy behavior? Generally, people in this situation choose one of two extremes: break up or tolerate. “The person who tolerates believes that they can help the person heal or is hopeful that the person will change,” observes Cristiane.
However, a third option exists: to do what the couple Marilia and Carlos did. Carlos grew up with an alcoholic father. Both he and Marilia grew up in dysfunctional homes filled with arguments and fights. Carlos had a past failed relationship, which brought trauma and led to struggles with trust issues in their relationship. Carlos and Marilia saw a turnaround in their relationship after attending Love Therapy meetings and practicing the lessons learned there. What the video below:
The Love Therapy takes place every Thursday at 7 PM at select locations of The Universal Church. Call 1-888-332-4141, text 1-888-312-4141, or visit The Universal Church for more information.
Contributors:
Jeane Vidal
