Article | - 11:55 am
Are Suicidal Thoughts Clouding Your Mind?
At school, I was a victim of bullying. People constantly made fun of me and as a boy, it was a huge blow to my ego. I couldn’t concentrate and my self-esteem plummeted. I thought moving schools would be the solution. It would be a new beginning and I could start over, but the bullying kept happening.
Everything was becoming too much for me and I was fed up. Suicidal thoughts plagued my mind and in an attempt to relieve myself of the pressure, I started self-harming. With every penetration the blade made to my skin, I felt temporary pleasure, but the thought of having to wake up the next morning to face another day ate away at me.
Since I didn’t have the guts to take my own life, I sought solace in other things like money and girls. I started hanging around with the bad company, doing things I knew weren’t right, but I couldn’t care less. Over time, I got involved in fights, but I enjoyed the feeling of adrenaline pumping through my body with every punch and kick.
That was until one day, while in a fight, my so-called friend ran away and left me there. I wasn’t just punched and kicked; this time around I was stabbed. My vision became blurry and there I realized the façade I wore, trying to be a man, was wearing out. I needed a way out!
It was one invitation to the Youth Power group at the Universal Church that changed my life, although, in the beginning, I couldn’t believe that the youths were so open and positive. Yet, I had nothing to lose so I stayed.
I regained my confidence little by little, and I removed each hurt, grudge, and pain that was inside of me, that’s when I became a new Omar. I had completely let go of my past. My family is united and our relationships with others keep getting better and better. Today, I help other people the same way I was helped, and it is a pleasure to do so. – Omar