“I Wasn’t Good Enough for Anything…”

I had depression when I was younger. We moved many times and I saw a lot of things happening. My brother’s father was abusive. He was very aggressive and he used to beat my mom. My mom used to drink. When my mom used to be so drunk then that’s when he started to beat her. I was always nervous and worried about my mom. During the time that we were living there, someone called and there was an investigation. My brother and I were taken away for 4 years. We lived in foster homes during that time. Then I started to feel like I needed to have people around me. I got into relationships then they would also be abusive. Then I thought about it, my mom went through the same thing. Then that’s when I started to be abusive myself. I didn’t allow anymore for that to happen to me.

When I met my husband I was really bad. I was very insecure. I had anger issues. In my mind I thought I wasn’t good enough for anything. In the past I used to drink a lot and smoke cigarettes. I was also introduced to marijuana. After that, I was taking pills. There was even a time that I tried to overdose on them.

I used to grab newspapers and I don’t even know what I’m looking for. I was desperate. Then I saw an ad from the Universal Church and I went. I spoke with the pastor and told him everything that was happening to me. That’s when I started breaking down. I attended the services and saw the testimonies, I asked him, “Are these people for real?” and he said, “Yes”.