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Depression in Disguise2 min read

Joana suffered from depressionMany years ago, I suffered from depression. Depression is a lonely disease. It’s a disease that consumes you from the inside, and if you’re very clever, you disguised it. So for me, I disguised depression.

I would always have a smile on my face and be joking around. I would always be the person who was positive with other people but inside of me, I was crumbling. My depression came on after a death of a family member whom I was very close to, and I felt very guilty that I wasn’t there for them, that I couldn’t give them the time that they deserve. After that, I couldn’t forgive myself. I couldn’t do anything to resolve it.

The emptiness inside me just consumed me daily. At work, I was fine, but as soon as I got home, I would ask myself questions like, “Why am I still here?” This situation went on and on for a long time.

My mom came to The Universal Church and started inviting me to go with her. To begin with, I was resistant. However, I attended the Sunday service. The service that particularly helped me was Wednesday because I would hear the pastor talking about the Holy Spirit, and I never understood what it was at first. For me to receive the Holy Spirit, I would go in the morning service then go back at night. I remember a verse that the pastor spoke in a service about Caleb and Joshua to be bold and courageous. I linked that to myself, that I needed to be bold and courageous if I wanted to have the Holy Spirit inside of me.

On a Friday service, I sought and received the Holy Spirit, and I had this assurance in me. Everything had changed. I wasn’t worried or fearful anymore and that everything was going to be okay. So if you are suffering from depression, there is a way out for you! You can have inner peace like me. You’ve got nothing to lose!

– Joana

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