Article | - 2:48 pm
Children who grow up to be rebellious, aggressive, and to have problems in their character have become a reality faced by many families today. Children who steal from and bully others, and who have a lot of anger inside of them. Many parents do the best they can, sometimes juggling two jobs as a single parent and visiting their children’s school. Parents make efforts but find their children with problems they never thought they would have to deal with.
Do not believe in the myth that says that the child was born this way. That’s a lie because parents have a great importance and role in raising their children and forming their behavior. The truth is that you can help your child. However, time is running out; your child will grow. The steps you need to take to help your family and children, you must take now. Also, understand that you are not alone in this. We are here to offer advice through this article, and we offer counseling and group activities made specially to help you, in any of the branches of The Universal Church.
So, let’s get started. Whether you have problems with your children or not, this article can be of great help to you; keep on reading. No matter the age of your child, you can help them. However, FIRST you must help yourself. Parent, you need to love and value yourself, believe in you and invest in your spiritual life and balance. Your children look up to you. Your words need to match your actions. If you realize that you are abusive and have problems in your character, then seek help today and make efforts to change. This important step will help you to restore your life and family.
Do not hesitate to talk with your children. Conversation is of extreme importance. If you are suspicious of something serious about your child even after speaking with them, investigate. Do not fight them or make threats. Allow them to speak what they are holding inside of them. Even though children might complain a lot about discipline, deep down they desire it and need it in order to feel secure. Discipline is “a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders.” It is meant to secure our own well-being and the safety of others.
Children need to know the limits of what they can and cannot do and the consequences of their actions. That needs to be consistent. It is a demanding responsibility for the parent, but it is worth it at the end.
Discipline IS NOT oppression. A parent that is a dictator and micromanages their children is not implementing discipline but is actually oppressing their children. Oppression does not bring well-being; on the other hand, it brings a sense of humiliation. Those oppressed cannot even do what they need to do. According to family counselor Renato Cardoso, parents who act as dictators in their children’s lives awaken the anger in their children by requiring of them unattainable standards. There is even a verse in the Bible dedicated to it: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
When children perceive that their parents are being extremely rigorous, they do not even try, because they know they will not reach their expectations. Successful parents take the time to explain important subjects and the “why not?” to their children.This brings us back to the importance of conversation: speak with your child. Explain the point and hear what they have to say at the appropriate time. They will value what you say when you value what they have to say.
Finally, a word of advice many parents find it very hard to follow: allow your children to suffer the consequences of their mistakes. Yes, if your child did something wrong or offended someone, help your child to recognize it and change. Saving your son or daughter from the consequences of their choices can have a serious impact on their character and future. According to Renato Cardoso, “When parents protect their children from the consequences of their mistakes, they do not allow their children to develop a sense of responsibility.” Many parents even put their own lives in danger in order to protect their children; however, they are paving their children’s way to destruction.
Dear parent, understand that you cannot do it alone. You and your children need more than just positive words, you need to have an inner strength that comes from having a relationship with God. At The Universal Church, every Sunday at 10am, families unite to pray because a family that prays together stays together. Many families have been restored, and so can yours.
We also have many groups to help you along the way. The Mothers in Prayer meet every Sunday. The Tamar Group provides emotional support and guidance for single mothers. The Intellimen Group provides guidance for fathers who want to make a positive impact on their families. The Youth Power Group helps to care for youths between the ages of 14 and 24, providing plenty of fun-packed and positive activities to help keep your child on the right track. The PT Force provides guidance for preteens between the ages of 10 and 13, addressing issues such as bullying, family life, friends, and school.